Talk, Laugh and Love.
It’s all about Communication
Communication is the gateway to a satisfying and fulfilling marriage and when there is a breakdown in this area, deep pain and a sense of loneliness can be the result. As many couples have ups and downs, an important part of my job is to assist in creating an open channel of communication with your spouse.
Do you feel misunderstood and unappreciated by your spouse?
Does it feel like it’s nearly impossible to talk about your needs?
Has it become stressful and debilitating to talk about certain topics?
Is the future of the relationship keeping you up at night?
GET YOUR RELATIONSHIP BACK ON TRACK
You may be at a point where you feel you are arguing about everything or that certain topics just ruffle you feathers… Arguments never seem to end well. They escalate to yelling, insults, and even threats. Once the “war” is over, you are both left feeling hurt, misunderstood, and with unresolved issues. Even though a lot of things were said, the main issues were not resolved.
For some couples, communication breaks down almost completely. Maybe you tried talking in the past and it didn’t go well, so you choose not to bring it up again. Or maybe, you are just hesitant to discuss important topics because you are concerned about bringing conflict into the relationship. This lack of communication almost always results in feelings of resentment and loneliness.
Relationships usually start with positivity and hope, which creates a sense of trust and commitment. But as time goes on, differences tend to arise: “How do we manage our finances?” “Why don’t we have more sex?” “How come you can’t help me more with chores or the kids?” “Why do you want to change who I am?” Through time, there are also transitions that can cause changes and conflict: the birth of a child, career changes, health issues, new interests, etc. Because life is full of these types of transitions, it is normal for relationships to have ups and downs.
In these situations, my role as a Counselor is to help identify the real issues and with compassion, knowledge and experience give you the tools you need to navigate through the transitions of life. This way you can get back to feeling fulfilled and satisfied in your relationship.
MOST COUPLES HAVE UPS AND DOWNS.
As a teenager I saw my parents’ marriage begin to decline, and eventually they divorced. This created a burning desire to learn what makes a relationship last (Read more about me by clicking here). So I am not just a therapist that works with couples, I am a Relationship Expert. Due to my curiosity and passion I have dedicated my life to learn and live a life to fulfill my dream to have a satisfying marriage and to help other couples have the same.
It doesn’t matter how long you have been experiencing issues in your relationship, through the research based methods that I use to help couples (Gottman Method and EFT informed), you can learn how to overcome communication issues and reconnect again. After a brief evaluation process, I understand the root problems causing the communication issues and create a plan personally designed for your relationship.
My approach is one that the goal is that in the shortest time possible generate profound changes without generating dependency on me. During the evaluation and later sessions, I will focus on understanding both your concerns. My position is neutral, so I can help you learn how to effectively resolve problems and learn to compromise in a way that you feel heard and understood. During our sessions, you can expect to experience a structured process, where you will be practicing practical tools to improve communication, and tasks to do at home to help you keep building momentum while we are not meeting together.
DOES THERAPY ALWAYS ENTAIL GOING OVER YOUR CHILDHOOD AND PAST EXPERIENCES?
My methodology does not require digging deep into your childhood. I will ask you some questions about your past to only understand how the relationship came to be where it is today. After that, we will be talking about the here and now.
CAN WE WORK ON INDIVIDUAL NEEDS AS WELL AS RELATIONSHIP ISSUES?
As I complete your evaluation, if any individuals needs come up, I incorporate them to the plan. I believe addressing individual needs enhances the chances of meeting the goals for the relationship.
WHAT IF MY SPOUSE IS NOT WILLING TO DO COUPLES THERAPY?
It is possible to do relationship work with only one spouse. The process is the same.